After driving the morning carpool, I feel compelled to re-publish an open letter I wrote last school year. Why, why, why are people so confused by a 4 way stop sign…? Why?
Dear Drivers at the 4-way stop on Montecito and Bostonian,
I know 4-way stops can be confusing, what with drinking your coffee, texting on your phone and yelling at your kids and all.
I know it can be extra confusing because the crossing guard might have her PhD in crosswalk safety and fluorescent accessorizing, but she clearly missed the chapter on traffic patterns and is a card carrying member of the We Hate All Cars Unless We’re Driving Them Club.
Plus I know you (and you alone) are under a time crunch to get your kids to school on time, so allow me to help you out with a little refresher about who has the right of way at a 4-way stop.
If two people arrive at the intersection at the same time, who gets to go first?
- A) the person with the biggest car.
- B) the person with the newest car.
- C) the person who thinks they’re entitled to go because they are in more of a rush than everyone else.
- D) the person on the right.
- E) the person who lives the closest to the intersection, and therefore is on “home turf.”
- A) If both cars are going straight through the intersection it doesn’t matter.
- B) If both cars are going straight through the intersection it doesn’t matter.
- C) If both cars are going straight through the intersection it doesn’t matter.
- D) If both cars are going straight through the intersection it doesn’t matter.
- E) All of the above.
- A) The person who can hit the gas and lurch into the intersection the fastest.
- B) The person who doesn’t like to use their turn signals and is angry when other drivers don’t just intuitively know what they’re going to do.
- C) Both cars go at the same time and meet in the middle of the intersection for a session of shouting and obscene gesture exchanges.
- D) The person going straight has the right of way, because unless they have a green arrow, the person turning left NEVER HAS THE RIGHT OF WAY.
I hope this has been informative and productive. There will be a test tomorrow, and I can only hope that Allstate will be grading you.
Wondering why you’re selfish AND stupid.