Answer the question!

You wouldn’t be caught dead where?
In a tattoo parlor. I’m sorry, because I know that right out of the gate I’ve probably offended a big segment of the population, but I just would never do it. Here’s the thing: aside from my wedding ring, there is no single accessory that I can see myself wearing every. single. day. for the rest of my life. And that’s what tattoos are…. a permanent accessory.

Do you have any hidden talents?
No. If I have a talent, I pretty much use it in public.

Name two things you consider yourself to be very good at.
1. – I am very good at holding my own in social situations. Meaning: If you take me to a party, a dinner, a luncheon, a meeting (whatever) and I don’t know a soul but you, I do not need to be fused to your side through the whole event. I can turn awkward small talk into friendships quite readily.

2. – I think I’m very good at finding the humor in almost any situation. (Sometimes I don’t find it until after the fact, but the bottom line is that I do eventually find it…)

Name two things you consider yourself to be very bad at.
1. – Math and sciences are my enemies. I have to take off my shirt to count to two. Science is just voo-doo to me, although I am so grateful to those who understand it and are curious enough to make advancements in it. I don’t even have basic curiosity about it. Figure it out and then spoon-feed the findings to me…

2. – I am incredibly critical and have almost no patience. Combine those things with parenting and it is often a recipe for disaster. The other day Grant was getting too close to our old, cranky Dalmatian’s face. I told him to back up because Barkley is cranky. Grant studied his face a few more moments and then asked, “How do you know? He doesn’t have any eyebrows…” My eyebrows are the barometer for Mom’s Mood. Eyebrows that are down low = cranky.

Have you ever won a trophy?
Yes. I have won trophies for sports (soccer, softball and cheerleading w/ my squad – if you consider cheerleading a sport) and for Speech and Debate events. I also won a lot of ribbons for swimming and horseback riding, although I think most of my swimming ribbons were probably Honorable Mentions…

Name one thing not many people know about you.
I am afraid of the grates and drains in sidewalks and parking lots. I am certain that if I step on one it will give way and I will fall into the sewer (or wherever they lead to.) I also worry about dropping my keys into one. (I worry about dropping my keys into the little space of shaft between the elevator floor and the floor of the building, too.)

Name your earliest memory.
I don’t think this is my earliest, but it’s still pretty vivid: I was probably 4 or 5. Not allowed to use the phone (duh) and was in my parents’ bedroom watching TV. My parents had people over, which is probably why I was watching TV in their room. I was watching a World Vision telethon that was trying to raise money and awareness for impoverished children. I was so moved by this that I wanted to help too.

Even though I had no money, no knowledge of how donations worked, or any phone privileges, I picked up the receiver and began to dial the number on the screen. (Yes, dial. I’m old.) I didn’t bother to make sure I had a dial tone first, and I probably mangled the dialing of the number. I thought I was ready and put the phone to my ear. I could hear a man saying, “Hello? Hello?!” I said, “Hi, my name is Vivienne and I want to help the orphans.” The man on the line said, “Well, Vivienne, this is your FATHER! What are you doing on the phone!?” Ack! I hung up immediately. At that moment I was certain my dad was all knowing, all seeing, Omnipotent Daddy. Obviously my dad was already on the phone when I started dialing. I don’t remember if I got in trouble, but it scared the crap out of me.

What was your favorite musical group in jr. high?
The Stray Cats or the B52s

What was something the worst roommate you ever had did?
I probably was the worst roommate, so I will invoke my 5th amendment rights on this question.

When you were a kid what did you want to be when you grew up?
I wanted to be a photojournalist or a reporter. I guess if you count this blog and my limited subject matter, I’m livin’ the dream! 🙂

What was your worst dating experience?
During High School I had a part time job at a small, family owned restaurant. The family that owned the restaurant were complete assholes. (No sugar coating it, sorry.) We peasant employees referred to the owner/general manager as “Scary Bear” with good reason. He would lurk in the shadows, watching you, waiting for you to screw up. If it’s any indication of what a jerk he was, he often told customers who sent back something that the dish was “fine” and they would eat it and like it or get nothing. (Not at all unlike the Soup Nazi on Seinfeld.) He also came from a long line of jerks: his father had been shot and killed in another restaurant by a disgruntled diner. Me? After 3 years of employment, I was fired for not making prior arrangements to be sick. (This after an assistant manager/family member sent me home mid-shift because I was sick.) Ass.

Anyway, I digress big time. Sorry. The head cook was Scary Bear’s cousin. He wanted to go out with me. I thought he was a toad. Lets just say there was a bit of pressure for me to accept his invitation. I tried to laugh it off and make jokes, but it didn’t work and I finally ended up accepting a date because I lost a bet we had. (A failed attempt to get out of the situation without coming right out and being rude.)

We decided on a time and that he would pick me up at my house. (I think I was 17) The time came and went. I prayed I was being stood up. I told myself if he wasn’t there after 20 minutes, no one could blame me for giving up on him and leaving. Unfortunately he showed. In a limo, with another couple, whom I did not know.

We drove to a local restaurant for dinner. As we were ordering, he informed me that from there we were going out to Hollywood. Well, that’s a 45 minute drive and I had a midnight curfew. I knew that even if we finished dinner quickly, drove to Hollywood and turned around immediately to drive back, I wouldn’t make my curfew. I was thrilled to announce I couldn’t go. Guess what? Ass-Cook didn’t care about my curfew and told me I was going anyway.
I said I would need to call my mom and ask for special permission to stay out past curfew.

I went to use the pay phone and they sent the other girl with me… I am assuming to make sure that I called. I was able to be super snotty to my mom to the point where she was saying, “Is everything OK?” “NO!” “Do you need me to come and get you?” “WHATEVER!” “Where are you?” “The Cask and Cleaver! Gosh Mom, I cannot beeeeelieve you are doing this to me!”

My sharp Mama came to the rescue and played the bad guy for me and allowed me to save face and get out of it. They left me sitting in the lobby while they drove off to Hollywood. Work sucked even more after that Disaster of a Date. (Incidentally, my boys know this story and know that should the need ever arise for them, they can “speak in code” and we will take the fall and come and get them….)

If you were about to die what would your last meal be?
Something full of calories, cholesterol and fat, I’m sure.

Who is the most important person in you life?
My husband. I love my kids, I love my parents, I love my friends…. but without my husband I am unable to give all that I have to these people. My husband brings out the best in me. He spotlights the worst in me so I can fix it, and he’s patient while I try to do so. (Or if he’s fed up and impatient, he hides it pretty well – God Bless Him!)

If your house was on fire what 3 things would you grab on your way out?
I am fairly organized. I have a box in my closet where my precious notes, cards, etc are stored. I also have an accordion file with original documents like birth certificates, passports, etc and insurance policies. I call it the Grab and Go emergency file. I am also slowly copying my photos and important computer stuff to disc and flash drives in order to have those in that file too.

We also have a “family plan” and meeting place. Everyone knows what to do, so with the exception of grabbing the cat and making sure someone has Grant, we’re good. We actually had a decent sized earthquake last night, so I’m going to post on some ER planning in a bit.