Why I expect a lot of work out of my kids. (And why I don’t pay them all that much for doing it.)

I have four boys.
I want my future daughters-in-law to like me.

Therefore, my boys need to be fairly self sufficient and need to know how to clean up after themselves. That requires training. Training is not fun. (But it’s worth it in the long run.)

My sons need to grow up to be self-reliant, conscientious and tidy. They will set better examples as fathers and have happier wives. (And because, dang it, once they move out, I do not want them moving back in! I am turning their bedrooms into craft rooms!)

My guys earn a weekly allowance… not because I feel they should be compensated for helping out around their house, but because you’re never to young to start learning about financial responsibility. I also think it is important that my children grow up knowing that there is no material object on this earth that they are entitled to.

A household is a team effort. Everyone, no matter what age, is capable of doing a little something to help out.
They do not earn an allowance for taking care of their own things. The following are tasks they don’t get paid for, but are expected to do every day:

make their beds
bring their dirty clothes to the laundry area
put away their clean clothes
keep their rooms neat and tidy
keep their bathroom from looking like a gas station restroom
keep up with their school work
clean up after themselves in the kitchen

What they do earn a small (age appropriate) allowance for:

taking out the garbage
feeding and cleaning up after the pets
misc light yard work
working with each other to clean up the kitchen after dinner every night
helping with any small, miscellaneous task that I ask for help with

They also have opportunities to earn “extra” money by helping out with big projects. (These big projects usually involve dirt, yard debris or heavy lifting.)

We have had many comments over the years that are along the lines of “Gee! How did you get your boys to do the dishes?” etc. I’ll let you in on the secret: It was never a request for help, it was an order. My husband and I told them that going forward, it was their job. We started off with us working alongside them to teach them how to do the tasks properly. Then we backed off and just watched to make sure they were doing it correctly. I will inspect the job every now and then and on occasion we will call them back to do re-do a sloppy job.

We never, ever acted like they were doing us a favor, but instead we treated it as part of life in this family, with everyone helping at dinnertime. It is now second nature for them and they promptly pitch in to help when they are at other people’s homes.

As a mom, I am proud of them.

As someone’s future mother-in-law, I’m feeling ahead of the curve.