Overheard: What my children fear… “You better be careful or Mom will blog about you…”
Devin my dear, this one’s for you.
7:30 pm, Monday night….
Mom: Devin, you have an orthodontic appointment tomorrow after school, so come straight home.
Devin: Got it.
3:00 pm, Tuesday afternoon the phone rings…
Mom: Hello?
Devin: Mom! The little thingy on my bike tire came off and I have a tire that is totally flat! Can you come and get me?
Mom: Isn’t this the “spare” bike you’re using because your bike needs a new tire?
Devin: Yes. It’s not my fault.
Mom: Ugh! Start walking towards home with the bike, I’ll put the bike in the back of the car and we’ll go directly to Dr. G’s.
Devin: Oh yeah! The appointment…
Mom: Yeah! The appointment! Hurry up!
(He hurried so much he was coming in the back door as I was going out the front.)
Mom: Hurry up! Put your backpack down and get in the car!
3:30 pm, Tuesday afternoon, driving to the orthodontist’s…
Devin: Someone flushed one of my PE shoes down the toilet.
Mom: Excuse me?!
Devin: I am missing a gray shoe from my PE locker and there is a gray shoe stopping up one of the toilets.
Mom: Why! Don’t! You! Lock! Your! Locker!??
Devin: I do! I don’t know how it happens! (This, after countless locks stolen, clothes missing, glasses gone, etc…. Yes, rather than admit he’s a nimrod, Devin contends that there is a master cat-burglar/Houdini-like thief in the Los Al boys’ locker room that only targets him.)
Mom: Ugh!! What shoes are you using for PE? Your Vans?
Devin: No, I’m wearing them, they’re too small.
Mom: What shoes are you wearing in PE? Your World Industries?
Devin: I’m wearing the ones that ripped.
Mom: Which ones are those?
Devin: The ones that ripped and the dad was going to glue the sole.
Mom: What are you wearing now? What are you using for PE?
Devin: Mom! (irritated with me) The shoes that are too small and the shoes that are ripped!
(much more, back and forth, who’s on first, confusion. He ripped a pair of shoes I thought were still in great condition, told dad, but did not tell me, is wearing shoes that are old and too small and would not have mentioned the flushed shoes at all, had the topic of PE clothes not come up…)
Dr. G: Devin forgot his retainer, so I can’t do the exam. You need to reschedule and come back again.
Mom: Dev! Why didn’t you bring your retainer!
Devin: Because you were in a hurry and I only had like, one second to get out the door.
Mom: But you went in your room to toss your backpack in there.
Devin: That would’ve taken 2 seconds.
Mom: Yes, it is much better to drive here for nothing and then bring you back another time.
We set a new appointment, get in the car…
Devin: So are we stopping for shakes? (A post-ortho appointment tradition.)
Mom: Um, no.
I’ll be spending my shake money on replacement PE shoes and wine.
I’m seriosuly awed at the seemingly recurring theme in many of your posts regarding Devin…and…his..um…lack of focus. Your sure he is indeed yours?
You are much more forgiving than my own mother would be in similar situations.
Have you considered shock therapy? For Devin that is.
He does not get it from me…. therefore he must get it from someone else….
Understand? 🙂