Scene: Our kitchen. I’m battling an unwilling kindergartener over a homework assignment.
Me: Please do your homework.
Grant: I need to sharpen my pencil first.
Me: No you don’t, it’s fine.
Grant: Look! It’s raining!
Me: Yes. Please do your homework.
Grant: When do I get video games back?
Me: At the rate you’re going, never.
(We have a month long moratorium on video games right now for everyone.)
Grant: Ahhh-choo! (Big sneeze!)
Me: God bless you!
Grant: I think I’m allergic to bees.
Me: Well, there are no bees in here.
Grant: oh. (pause) Then I must be allergic to this paper!
How do I win?