Did you guys know that before my blissful marriage to Handsome Hubby, I had been previously married? I mean, why would you, right? (Unless you’ve read our story, you wouldn’t know.)
The divorce was one of the most pivotal moments of my life. Not just because my marital status changed, or that I was left alone with two small boys (although both of those things were true) but it was pivotal due to the affect it had on the strength of my character and that it allowed me to be strong enough to “rescue myself”.
I was born and raised in Southern California, but from 1993 – 2002 I lived in the Portland, Oregon area. When my Ex and I moved up there I was a stay at home mom. Right before we split up we had purchased my dream house: a 1914 Craftsman fixer-upper in a historic neighborhood. He left me with a mortgage payment, home remodeling ideas with no means to implement them, and a 4 year old and a newborn baby.
I went and spent 3 months in Southern California with my parents for moral support.
I had two choices: Stay with Mom & Dad and the comfort they were giving me, or go back up to Portland and try to make it on my own as a single mom. I went back to Portland.
It was hard.
Really hard.
I had to get creative financially.
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| Devin & Conner – 1997 |
I had taken a pottery class and some friends and family had liked what I made. I started getting special requests for items and then began selling my pottery at the local Farmer’s Market. I bought a small kiln and stayed up late at night and got up early in the morning to fill custom orders. My dining room table was now used solely for rolling out clay. My china hutch was a drying rack…. I worked my butt off.
A funny thing happened. I discovered I was pretty creative across the board and I started to branch out in other areas. I got power tools and figured out how to use them. I grabbed cheap (or free!) pieces and fixed them up. With a bit of creative energy, I made my home a pretty, comfortable place to be with little or no money.
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| Conner & Me in 1998. Pottery, school, and chasing a toddler. |
I decided to go back to school and finish my Bachelor’s degree. Along the way I re-awakened my love of writing, stumbled onto a speech and debate team and got pulled into politics. Every step I took increased my confidence.
I worked on policy development for the Portland Mayor’s office during the day and came home and refinished pieces of furniture at night…. I wrote speeches for the Washington State House of Representatives during the week and looked for treasures at yard sales on weekends (all while raising two little boys.)
What is my point of telling you all of this?
That even though the catalyst for my journey was adversity, I learned more about my inner strength… my capabilities… my previously untapped and underdeveloped talents… I rescued myself. Basically, my divorce helped me to grow as a person.
Who would I be today if I had not had this experience? I think that many of us are like this. That old saying that what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger is true, but I think it’s an opportunity to discover yourself as well. Who are you? Exactly how strong are you…?
I’m curious to know: What has inspired you to grow as a person?
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