Dear Family Members, Please keep the dang lid on the dang butter dish. I have told you 50 million times that the cat keeps getting on the counter and eating the butter!! source (This is not our cat) Again and again and again. I nag because I NEED TO. Keep the lid on the butter […]
Dear oil companies, you’re screwing with Mother’s Day Brunch….
First, a big thank you to everyone who read yesterday’s post and left a comment, shared it on facebook or tweeted about it. There were some really honest emotions shared in reader comments and I am so grateful. The world keeps spinning and life goes on. We host a Mother’s Day Brunch every year. This […]
Dear Totino’s…. do you think we’re idiots?
Dear Totino’s,If these are the Kids In America, then the kids in America (and their parents) need a major ass-kicking. I hate this commercial. HATE! Click here to see it.(I can’t embed it… sorry.) If anything? This commercial serves as a marketing deterrent. signed,A parent in America
An open letter to Goodwill Stores….
Dear Goodwill, As a long-time bargain hunter and a avid DIY-er, I feel compelled to write you this letter. I understand that there are certain legal constraints that prevent you from accepting items like car-seats, high chairs and other baby items. However, what I am really wondering about today, is why you won’t take many […]
Dear people who are bugging me…
Dear local supermarkets,Do all of you participate in the same Remedial Box Boy Hiring Program? If it is a legitimate program where you provide jobs to half-wits who would otherwise be unemployed… so be it. If not, might I suggest the following quiz in order to better screen your applicants: 1. In a battle between […]
Jesse James? Um, you’re a pig. No, that isn’t nice to say about a pig. You’re pond scum. No. that isn’t nice to say about pond scum…
Dear Jesse James, You have a gorgeous wife who is sweet, funny, a great step-mother, and is well-loved by most accounts. Oh, and she’s a movie star too. So please explain why you would let your penis do your decision making and throw away a blessed, happy life in exchange for a cheap, nasty affair […]
Your left. No, your OTHER left.
Dear Drivers at the 4-way stop on Montecito and Bostonian, I know 4-way stops can be confusing, what with drinking your coffee, texting on your phone and yelling at your kids and all.I know it can be extra confusing because the crossing guard might have her PhD in crosswalk safety and fluorescent accessorizing, but she […]
Hello? Child protective services….?
Dear Child Protective Services, Do you have a Fashion Division?You don’t?Well you should.If CPS would expand its duties just a wee little bit, we could protect kindergarteners from parents who think it is OK to make their children look like pint-sized Kate Gosselins. (Don’t even get me started on this girl’s normal name with a […]
American Idol? You bug me.
Dear American Idol,I think you got a few things wrong in picking your Top 24. Why did you send yodeling, warbling, named after a soap opera character Haley Vaughn through, but cut sweet Tori Kelley? I went to high school with Tori’s parents, and I was really rooting for her. They say this cut happened […]