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How I ended up with my Dream Man. (And I only had to wait 20 years.)

April 19, 2009 24 Comments

Gratitude.
I don’t often lead with that. Beyond my rants, raves and the thick layer of sarcasm, I really am a girl who counts her blessings… both big and small.

I’m grateful for my children and all the trials, tribulations and joys that come with parenting. On that note, I am also very, very grateful for wine. And Xanax. (Kidding. Kinda.)

I am grateful when I find a great parking space or a T-shirt for $2 on clearance at Target. Grateful for family and friends, grateful for good health…

But I am extremely Beyond Words, Still Pinch Myself When I Wake Up Each Morning, grateful for my Handsome Hubby (HH). I love him more than anything. And it’s been a long time coming.
Marrying my High School Sweetheart
We were in 6th grade together but I don’t remember him. (I tell him that he just wasn’t very memorable.) We went to different Jr. High Schools and “met” again in our sophomore year of High School. He was certainly memorable by then! I was 15, and I. Fell. Hard.

We dated for 11 months, which is a lifetime at that age. At that age, after 11 months I should have been eligible for alimony and been allocated a 50-50 split of the contents of his locker…. I should have been granted full custody (or at least visitation) of his letter-man’s sweater (preferably still smelling of his shampoo.)

He broke up with me, stating the need to date other people. I was devastated!
I cried for months. I wouldn’t date anyone else. I made it clear that nobody should be dating him (he joked about that at dinner just the other night, heh heh…) Mostly? I pined away. I spent the remainder of my High School days pining away.   I still was involved in school.   Still went to football games and to dances… but with other guys. Poor, unfairly treated guys whose only crime was that they were not HH.

It was clear to me that my Love Boat had sailed without me and HH was busy chasing cruise director Julie McCoy around the Lido Deck. I poured my heart out to Doc, Isaac and Captain Stubing. They all had the same advice for me:
“There are other fish in the sea”… “move on”… “it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all”… (FYI – anyone who offered up that little pearl of wisdom got a punch in the neck.)

Well. That’s what I did. I moved on. I dated other people, ended up engaged and got married. (I even invited HH to my wedding to “show” him I was over him.)

So yes, I moved on with my life and just accepted that I would always have something missing.  That I wouldn’t ever have that passion, but I would have a nice, comfortable, mini-van kind of love. (I must interject here and now that I have never been a mini-van mom. Fine for some, but I just can’t do it!) I would cry myself to sleep every now and then, just because of that void… That “something” that was missing.

I always carried a torch for HH, but took comfort in my stable, non-passionate kind of love marriage. Well if you want to make God laugh, make plans. I thought I was safe in my scuffy slippers of a life, and wound up a divorcee` with 2 little boys.

HH and I grew up in a small town and have a tight knit group of friends. We always knew through the grapevine what was going on with the other.   And our timing was always wrong. When my marriage was falling apart, he was just getting married. When his marriage was falling apart, I was in a relationship. Long story short (oh! too late!) our timing was finally right.

We met up again at a HS reunion and started talking and visiting.   We tentatively resumed our relationship, older, wiser, and chaperoned by 3 little boys.   He tells me that he figured out our split and reconciliation: since everything was so great with Me, his first serious girlfriend, how awesome must everything else out there in Girlfriend Land be?! (He seems sincere enough, so I really do buy this excuse.)

informal wedding selfie

He never proposed. We just knew we were getting married. On a Wednesday he said, “Does Friday night work for you?”

Yes! He had a judge meet us in a park, in view of the jungle gym, so we could keep an eye on the kids. We got married under a tree, wearing jeans and sweaters and ordered Taco Bell for our wedding feast. Six months later we had a big, blow-out party to celebrate and eleven months after that, we had our bouncing baby bundle ‘o Grant.

I’m grateful that I have a great marriage, and the peace of mind that comes with it.

I’m grateful that my relationship skills were developed because of and specifically for this man. (Because no one else could put up with me.) I’m grateful that HH knows that there is no one else who could put up with him and he loves me as much as I love him.

I’m grateful that even when we fight (and we totally do) that there is still no one I would rather be with.

I’m grateful that the worst day with him is better than the best day without him.

I’m grateful I no longer have that hole in my heart where true love should be, and if I’m crying myself to sleep it’s because my sciatica is flaring up again.

Most of all, I am grateful that God allowed me to appreciate HH more, because I have life without him as a basis for comparison. It’s great when hindsight allows you to see what God had planned all along.

happy hug

Filed Under: award, Handsome Hubby, Tales To Tell

Comments

  1. Tanielle says

    April 19, 2009 at 11:05 PM

    Thanks sooo much! I will post it soon! You made my afternoon, and brought a smile to my face, and thanks for sharing your story! I have wondered after reading your profile…how wonderful and sweet! You are truly blessed!

    Thanks again!!!

    Tanielle

    Reply
  2. jennykate77 says

    April 19, 2009 at 11:28 PM

    What a great story! I’m a hopeless romantic, so this soul-mate-destined-to-be-together thing really makes my heart melt. It should be a movie. I’m so glad that after all those years you have your true love and are living the “happily ever after”! Thanks so much for passing this award onto me! I’ve never been given this award before. It will be a fun thing to post. Gratitude is a must!

    Hope you’ve been having a wonderful weekend!!

    Reply
  3. Kim says

    April 19, 2009 at 11:45 PM

    What a great story!!! I love the wedding under a tree and the taco bell part. We got married in a very no-fireworks deal and I loved it.

    Thank you so much for giving me the award! Now I’m going to sound like – hey I get these all the time but the truth is I did get it just a week ago so I won’t post on it again but I truly and sincerely do appreciate it. I am really glad we met up in this weird but neat kind of community and I LOVE how funny you are.

    Reply
  4. Jen says

    April 20, 2009 at 12:00 AM

    Thank you thank you thank you! I’m so excited! and I LOVED your story! So glad that HH was worth the wait and all the other frogs you went through first; and the wedding at the park – perfect 🙂 Thank you for sharing; now to noodle on my own gratitude….

    Reply
  5. Shawn says

    April 20, 2009 at 12:38 AM

    I have this award but will proudly claim that it was given to me again by this amazingly funny new friend of mine that through fate has come back to her “lobster”.

    What a great story girl!

    ~S

    Reply
  6. Sarah says

    April 20, 2009 at 12:39 AM

    Thank you for the award!!

    You tell a great story 🙂 I just love reading your posts.

    Reply
  7. Becca @ The Texas Darlings says

    April 20, 2009 at 1:49 AM

    I loved reading your story- felt like I was “chatting” with a good friend over a great big glass of oaky- woodsy merlot (can you tell what my taste buds are craving????).

    But I seriously loved the story and how it shows your vast amount of gratitude.

    Thanks so much for sharing the award with me- I love to read your posts are get excited when I see a new one. I am off to pondering narrowing down all that I am thankful for!!!

    See you soon!
    Becca

    Reply
  8. MichelleB says

    April 20, 2009 at 2:57 AM

    Great story! I love reading other people’s stories.

    Reply
  9. Heather says

    April 20, 2009 at 3:46 AM

    what an amazing love story! thank you so much for sharing.

    my dear boyfriend was my seventh grade crush. we dated briefly in high school, but the timing wasn’t right. a year and a half ago, we ran into each other and have been inseparable ever since. i love that we (like you and your hh) have a shared history.

    hope you had a wonderful weekend!

    Reply
  10. MiMi says

    April 20, 2009 at 6:51 PM

    I was wondering how all that went! I read your “about me” section so I was curious. That is a very sweet story, thank you for sharing it! I, too, am married to my high school sweetheart!
    Macey

    Reply
  11. Uncle Jayson says

    April 20, 2009 at 8:16 PM

    I’m very envious of this story and for all the ‘right’ reasons.

    I know it sounds cliche, but you don’t realize how much something means to you, or what one can take for granted if left to its own devices….even love.

    Ladies (& the few men that read this)…take it from experience..go home and tell your spouse how much you ‘appreciate’ them…Little things like that can go such a long way you don’t even know.

    Reply
  12. Xazmin says

    April 20, 2009 at 10:12 PM

    Awwww…I’m all choked up now. Such a seldom seen more serious side of you…I like it!

    Of course I love that other sarcastic, hilarious side of you also.

    Thanks for thinking of me. I promis to post it soon!

    Reply
  13. Amanda says

    April 21, 2009 at 12:09 PM

    Wow, what a great story. A real love story, something I would expect to see on a Lifetime movie:)It sounds like you guys were meant to be, so sweet.

    Reply
  14. Amber says

    April 21, 2009 at 7:56 PM

    What a great story!! My hubby and I have a pretty good love story too. I love how God just works things out.

    Thanks for the award!! 🙂

    Reply
  15. The Chicken Lady says

    April 22, 2009 at 10:41 PM

    I witnessed your Post/pre/post HH life. I’m grateful that you two FINALLY got the timing right. I want my friends to be happy and I can see that you are on cloud 9! And, he is a truly wonderful guy – with a cool car! :)tee hee

    Oh, and I know YOU could never drive a mini-van, but I know you like Baby.

    Reply
  16. Infarrantly Creative says

    May 2, 2009 at 3:04 AM

    I love it…no cake though…not even a cupcake or some cinammon twists from taco Bell?

    Reply
  17. Impulsive Addict says

    February 14, 2011 at 7:27 PM

    I READ IT! The WHOLE thing! Go ahead….quiz me!

    I love the story! So so sweet! But seriously…3 marriages? Bhahahahaha! I’m kidding. But I’m only doing this whole MARRIAGE thing one time! If it doesn’t work out, I’ll take up being a whore. But we’ve got 11 years in so my “M” may be a keeper. He’s pretty sweet (even though I bash on him a lot) =)

    Reply
  18. Elizabeth says

    April 13, 2011 at 7:50 PM

    What a wonderful love story! It’s amazing how when you leave everything in God’s hands it works out. Congrats for your much deserved happiness!

    Reply
  19. Ana says

    April 20, 2011 at 5:00 PM

    Awwww, how sweet. I’m such a sucker for love stories. I’m so glad I come over to read it. Thanks for sharing. Have a wonderful day.

    Hugs and Kisses,
    ♥Ana

    Reply
  20. broken_hearted says

    May 14, 2011 at 1:34 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    Reply
  21. broken_hearted says

    May 14, 2011 at 1:37 AM

    Your teenage heartbreak story touched so many sore spots in my heart. I’m not a teenager, and over the years I’ve been hurt when relationships have ended, for sure. But right now I’m in pieces with a heartbreak I could never have imagined. It helps to know I’m not alone, and even helps to know that for some people things work out great in the end.

    I am writing a blog about my heartbreak at the moment. No-one reads it, but that’s not the point. It’s really just a journal for me and a way to gather up my scattered emotions. A way to heal.

    Please feel free to read it.

    http://100daysofheartbreak.blogspot.com

    broken_hearted

    Reply
  22. Cherished Bliss says

    May 18, 2011 at 4:56 AM

    What a cute story!! I love that you got married under a tree while watching your kids play! This is a story that will be passed down the line for generations! Adorable.

    Reply
  23. Stacy says

    September 16, 2011 at 5:32 PM

    Seriously??? That is amazing! I love, love that story. I totally agree that without the not so good experiences we would never fully appreciate the good. What a lucky lady you are!!!

    Reply
  24. Good Time Charlie says

    November 6, 2011 at 5:52 PM

    I just read this for the first time! I am such a verklempt kind of shiksa (a non jew girl), my eyes are all watery, and not because I have allergies. What a very, very sweet story. This should be the prologue to your some day to be published book. I love a good love story. My husband and I met, fell in love instantly, true story, and did our whole relationship long distance. When we got engaged, we had actually only spent about 4 days total together. Almost 19 years later, he is the love of my life and NO ONE else would love me or appreciate me as much as he does, or (put up with me for that matter). Love that you were HS sweethearts. That is just the sweetest part of the whole story. Yikes, I am afraid of what my life would have turned out if I married the boys I dated in HS. More like, they should be afraid if they had married moi! Good thing I met my Mr. Right on a complete chance meeting as he was passing through Utah on road trip with smelly college boys. Love is blind, and in this case, had no sense of smell either.

    Reply

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