Is there a Kindergarten class specifically for stinkers?

My 5 year old is in the doghouse. Why, you ask?

Did he write on the walls? No. Although he’s done that before.
Did he write on the bathroom mirror with toothpaste and his finger? No. Although he’s done that, too.
Did he completely thrash his room? Well he has, but no, no, that’s not it either.

Last week he had his “Kindergarten Assessment” meeting with the Kindergarten Teachers. They determine what Grant already knows and they figure out how to place the children in the classes so there is a good “mix” of students. Grant pretended not to know anything. Anything!

• He told them he didn’t know his alphabet.
• No, he says he doesn’t know what sounds the letters make, sorry.
• He told them he can’t really count.
• He answered almost every question with “Yeah! And I had a jumper at my birthday party!” regardless of the question.
• He was distracted by a computer in the room and kept asking to get on the internet.

It is important to note that the parents are not allowed in the room while these assessments are going on. Therefore I had no idea he had done this.

On Thursday I received a call from the Principal who wanted to “brainstorm” about Grant. I assumed that meant she wanted to discuss how to balance his superior intellect and his precociousness in a way that was most conducive to foster his brilliance. (Momma Goggles are the best, aren’t they?)

What the Principal actually wanted to discuss was the idea of putting Grant into Developmental Kindergarten – a program for kids who aren’t quite ready to start Kindergarten, even though they are old enough to do so. Basically, she thinks Grant is totally behind the learning curve.

I tried to convince her that he had been being a stinker, and that she had basically been punk’d. She sounded skeptical. She asked me to have him write out the alphabet and draw a picture and drop it by the office.

I asked her if she wanted to meet Grant, which with me in the room giving him the stinky eyeball, there would be no feigning ignorance. She said she is really busy and can’t set time aside for about a week, but that I should drop off the samples of Grant’s work she asked for.

I had him write out the alphabet and draw a picture. Fortunately, I also have been blogging about this little turkey and am able to print off evidence and short examples to support my case:

• Grant was able to write his alphabet on the wall in May of last year.
• Grant knows the basics of structural engineering.
• Grant knows that language can mean different things to different people.
• Grant is imaginative and has problem solving capabilities that scare his parents.
• Grant is observant and has a memory like an elephant.
• Grant knows lots of shapes and does not hesitate to correct you if you get one wrong.
• Grant hears new words or phrases and creates opportunities to use them.

I will not be printing up the posts where I learned that:

• Grant is familiar with South Park.
• Grant’s brothers have allowed him to watch Austin Powers movies.
• Grant is completely in control of his actions and aware of the good, the bad and the ugly.

I am hopeful that once the Principal realizes that the Assessment Teachers have been duped, that Grant will be placed in regular Kindergarten. I am certain this will not be the last phone call I receive from a school Principal…