Did I ever tell you that I worked as a waitress during college? It was hard work, but fun. I loved the interaction with the customers (most of them, anyway) and I got plenty of fodder for funny stories. (Someday I’ll have to tell you about the time I got salad dressing on a customer’s eyebrows…)
Over the years I’ve shared some of these stories with my friend LaRonda.
One of the stories I told her happened some 20 odd years ago. I call it The Table Fart Story.
I told LaRonda the story of what was probably one of the Top 3 Embarrassing Moments in my co-worker’s life:
She was standing at a table, taking an order and she had to sneeze. She quickly turned away from the table so that she did not sneeze in their faces. When she sneezed, she also lost a little control elsewhere, so while she did not sneeze in their faces, she did do something else.
There was a definite, loud fart right at table level instead. She was so embarrassed that she just walked away from the table. She didn’t say anything, didn’t look back, but walked straight to the kitchen and didn’t come back out until after the customers had left. She handed over her ticket book and someone else took over the table.
Funny story, right? You feel bad for the girl, but it’s still funny.
Something else that’s funny? I met LaRonda and a few other girlfriends for dinner last week. The subject of that poor waitress came up. It appears that over the years the details of that story have become a little muddled in LaRonda’s mind. She has been re-telling the tale with me as the Farting Waitress.
Now that’s funny!
SueAnn Lommler says
“That is funny and oh so embarrassing!!
Oh good lord. That’s just … really terrible/funny/wrong/embarrassing/I could go on forever here. Even though it happened quite a while ago, I feel really bad for her. I would have quit my job right then and there and never returned to that restaurant again.
Bet it made for great table talk for the customers. Since the waitress didn’t come back they probably thought she had to go home for clean underwear.
Oh heavens, how humiliating, dear girl. Can’t blame her for not going back out.
Got news, the older you get the more chance there is of that happening anywhere at any time.
I had a little noise experience in front of my grandson one time and thought he’d die of laughter. It seems his Mother is very straight laced, she doesn’t do things like “fart”. Ok if she says so.
Good Time Charlie says
I should know by now to not eat while I am reading your blog! I almost inhaled a triscuit I was laughing so hard. It is even better that now it is YOU doing the deed! That woman will NEVER forget this incident, neither will the people at the table! Mark and I were “servers” all through college too. In a college town, you meet some interesting characters. I started my illustrious waitress career in High School. You got salad dressing on a customers eyebrows? I got Whipped Cream on a table for six, all six, dusted with whip cream beads on their eye brows. Yep, call me grace.
I farted at a restaurant but it was so loud and stinky he fined me an extra 14$ for farting