Devin is 16 today. What. The. Heck?
First of all, for those of you who are worried, let me say: No. He will not be behind the wheel and on the roads any time soon.
We had our family celebration last night. He got the dinner of his choice: Sloppy Joes (pardon me a moment while I try to control this gag reflex) and Chocolate Wipe-Out Cake from Hof’s Hut.
Conner had a lot of fun giving Devin his gifts. He talked up his “gift” and how great it was going to be, and how much Devin was going to love it, etc. Then gave him an just an OK video game. Devin put on a nice face and told him thank you, that’s really cool, Conner …
Conner had previously given me my line in this farce: “Devin, you really smell. Please go put on some deodorant.” When Dev went to the bathroom to get the deodorant (protesting all the way that he does NOT smell!) he found his second gift in there, along with a note directing him to the next gift. He got 5 video games in all, with Conner saving the best one for last and hiding it in the depths of Devin’s nasty laundry basket. (Which, by the way, is still overflowing with dirty clothes…)
Some of my favorite Devin moments (although not necessarily at the time)
- Learning to talk + fascination with firetrucks = FUCK!! shouted at the top of his 2 year old lungs whenever he heard a siren.
- At age 4 after our waitress introduced herself to our table, Dev didn’t miss a beat: “I’m Devin, this is Annie, and Vivienne’s name is Mommy.”
- Around the same age, telling everyone he met that he can make “the biggest poop you ever saw!” after overhearing Mike comment on a toilet-clogging fiasco.
- Around age 3, the only time he ever saw actual cash used in a transaction was at the Taco Bell drive-thru. Everything else was a check or plastic, so he thought that cash was only good for buying tacos. He loved tacos. This prompted him to go up to strangers and say, “Excuse me sir, but do you have any money?” – basically, my child was begging for tacos.
- When he was 3 or 4 his car seat had been brought into the house for some reason. He flipped it over and shoved one of his fingers through a hole in the plastic under the seat. I tried everything and couldn’t get his finger out. I had to call the fire department to come and get him out. The jaws of life in my living room. (OK fine, it was a hacksaw and butter, but at least by then he had stopped yelling his special word for firetruck).
- At age 5 we had dinner at my friend Jen’s house. As we were leaving, I prompted Devin: what do you say, Dev? “Uh. Thank you for your HOSTILITY.” Jen still tells that story.
- Upon encountering a very large woman in a store, Devin loudly proclaimed “Mom, that lady is really fat!” I took him aside and said, “You shouldn’t say things like that. She knows she’s overweight and what you said will only hurt her feelings. Try to be a little quieter about it too, OK?” “OK!” The next time we saw a large lady, I prayed Devin remembered what I had told him. He did. He tried to take the less obvious route, but still at maximum volume: “So. Mom…. (pause for dramatic effect – look directly at Big Lady, then back to Mom)… Do you exercise?”
There are so many of these little stories – I will have to have a Devin Stories Part 2. Happy Birthday Dev! You’re a great son and a wonderful big brother. We love you tons!
BTW? This is the reason the boys’ room always smells like feet.
Happy Birthday Devin!!!
On that note, I’d like to personally challenge you on point #2. I beleive I can make the biggest you have ever scene. Period.
Also, what games buddy, what games?
1. Call of Duty: Finest Hour
2. Star Fox Assault
3. Cabela’s Big Game Hunter
4. Star Fox Adventures
5. Metroid Prime
I’ll take your word for it AND you may have that title. – Dev