I didn’t like the color pink for most of my life. I love it now. If it’s pink in this household, it may as well be radioactive… the boys won’t touch my iPod, my hairbrush, my toothbrush, my jacket, etc…. Pink is a great defense mechanism at my house.
I was a tomboy growing up. I hated Barbie (and still do). My sister loved Barbie and I would play with her long enough to build and decorate Barbie’s house. We didn’t have Barbie’s dream house. We built her house out of shoe boxes, pillows and whatever else we could find. Barbie’s Dream Car? One of Mom’s high-heels. (If she had a family car, we would have used a loafer.)
At the point that Barbie’s house was set up and running smoothly, I was done. Have my Barbie come over to your Barbie’s house and have dinner…? Um, no thank you, I think there is a game of kickball starting up out front.
If I was feeling maternal, I covered up my orange Hot Wheel tracks with a blanket and tucked them in. Dolls, schmalls. No thanks for that. (Stuffed animals do not count as dolls, by the way.)
As a grown-up (ha!) I tend to steer clear of women who are a bit too introspective. I mean, self awareness is a good thing, but it shouldn’t be an obsession. I don’t belong to any women’s groups. I don’t have tea and discuss empowerment for women and the dual pressure of being a good mom and a good career person. And I certainly don’t go looking at ads on bulletin boards to find friends with idiosyncratic commonalities. Thanks, but no.
In Jerry Maguire, there is a scene where a group of divorced women sit around talking about feelings of inadequacy and a lack of empowerment for women. I would rather get the proverbial poke in the eye than participate in that kind of whiny, vagina contemplating, Stuart Smally-fest. (I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and gosh darn-it, people like me! – I sure hope you know your SNL…) Blah blah blah.
That being said, Friends are a totally different story. Friendships should develop organically, not based on a sign-up sheet. Friends are the ones who actually can give you a feeling of empowerment and support. Friends won’t tell you that by wearing lipstick you are buying into the sit still and be pretty male dominated society. However, she’ll tell you if it’s not a good shade on you, or if you’ve gotten it on your teeth.
My friend sent me this video, and I was a bit reluctant to watch it because its title is Transcending: Words on Women and Strength by Kelly Corrigan
Blech! Sounds like complete schmaltz to me!
However, it is fantastic, and is actually right on the money. It’s 5 minutes long, which is both a long time to sit still and watch, and a short time to take it all in.
Women friends = good. Women’s groups = not so much.