One of my favorite things about Fall? You can decorate with yard clippings and produce. Simple is good. Amen.
Can I wash someone’s mouth out with laundry soap…?
So, I’m doing laundry (shocker.) As I am transferring a load from the washer into the dryer, I see Devin’s hoody sweatshirt has a dirty, blackish stain on the back, near the bottom hem. I asked him what happened. He says, “I don’t know, I must have sat in something…” Conner, who is listening to […]
Our dog can talk!
A guy was coming to work in our yard this morning. It was my day to help in Grant’s class so I brought our dog, Corsa, into the house so she’d be out of the guy’s way. Because I wouldn’t be home to watch her, I put her in the kitchen and slid the little […]
Fakers.
You know those fake orange pumpkins you can buy at craft stores? The ones that look like fake pumpkins? You know, the fake ones pretending to be real. Everyone knows they’re fake. If they’re already fake looking, you may as well make them look like they’re supposed to be that way. I take my fake […]
The skinny on Santa: How to tell your kids the truth about Santa Claus.
When I was a kid, I figured out the Santa thing on my own: Why does Santa have Mom’s handwriting? Why did he use the same wrapping paper as my Mom? (Even then, the idea that he wrapped presents at each house seemed terribly inefficient to me….) As an adult, I made sure when Santa […]
Kindergarten teachers are underpaid.
Most teachers are underpaid. I don’t know how they do it. How do they keep a nice, soothing tone of voice? How do they keep those kids under control without a cattle prod? Why aren’t they in a stupor, rocking back and forth and mumbling greeneggsandhamgreeneggsandhamgreeneggsandham…? I am The Cooking Mom every other Wednesday in […]
Candle light has a nicer glow when it’s free.
I am a big fan of candles. Candles are good. I buy them compulsively and I burn them regularly…. especially during the fall and winter months. However, I am totally bugged when I buy a yummy, scented candle (which often is synonymous with expensive) and it burns down the middle and I have a tube […]
Chicken breasts.
I went to a charity fundraiser with my friend Jodi last night. We got dressed up…  we put on make-up…  I spent more than an hour actually drying and styling my 45 pounds of hair…  We were lookin’ good. Upon arrival, we headed (immediately) to the bar and each got a glass of wine.  We […]
I don’t care who you are… as time goes by, your butt gets bigger.
My kids are all smart. They frequently make dumb choices, but technically they are all very intelligent. That’s why things like this just crack me up: Me: “Mitch, it is supposed to be very hot today… are you sure you want to wear jeans to school?” Mitch: “I have to. I don’t have any shorts.” […]
CSI: Kitchen
THE FACTS: I had some bananas that were getting too ripe. I had a banana-nut muffin mix. I combined the two items and baked 1 dozen muffins last night. I set them on the counter to cool and went to bed. This morning we awoke to a Muffin Mystery. Nine of the muffins were gone. […]
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