After driving the morning carpool, I feel compelled to re-publish an open letter I wrote last school year. Why, why, why are people so confused by a 4 way stop sign…? Why? Dear Drivers at the 4-way stop on Montecito and Bostonian, I know 4-way stops can be confusing, what with drinking your coffee, […]
Chip Grease! The better furniture polish!
I am pre-scheduling posts, as I am about to leave on vacation. My kids are making me crazy. Forgive the repost, but they inspired it. This was from July of 2008. The then-16-year-old is now graduated from high school and almost 19. Not. Much. Has. Changed. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~Originally published July 13, 2008~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You are almost […]
Dear people who are bugging me…
Dear local supermarkets,Do all of you participate in the same Remedial Box Boy Hiring Program? If it is a legitimate program where you provide jobs to half-wits who would otherwise be unemployed… so be it. If not, might I suggest the following quiz in order to better screen your applicants: 1. In a battle between […]
Sorry. I wasn’t thinking clearly (being that I have a penis and all…)
Gentlemen? A pop quiz: When your wife begins to tell you that she has lost 3 pounds in the last two weeks, should you interrupt her with… A) 3 pounds? That could be the difference between pooping and not pooping. B) Gosh, your shoes probably weigh a pound. C) That could be the difference between […]
Your left. No, your OTHER left.
Dear Drivers at the 4-way stop on Montecito and Bostonian, I know 4-way stops can be confusing, what with drinking your coffee, texting on your phone and yelling at your kids and all.I know it can be extra confusing because the crossing guard might have her PhD in crosswalk safety and fluorescent accessorizing, but she […]
July 10, 2008? Not a good day for little boys. Or bees.
I’m still up to my eyeballs in coffee filters. These are two back to back posts, originally published on July 10, 2008…. within about 1 hour of each other. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So this bee walks into a bar and orders a baking soda bath, with a chaser of baking soda paste… You’re out playing in the […]
Really? Why?
Grant:a) disapproves of the current furniture arrangement.b) is really cold and opted for couch cushions instead of a blanket.c) can’t leave a tidy room, well… tidy.d) There is no rhyme or reason to the things Grant does. You know the answer.
I love it when he makes breakfast. Really, I do.
This is the knife block that sits on my kitchen counter. I am a tidy housekeeper… so what’s wrong with this picture? Did it… a) develop a bad case of dandruff. b) get caught in a snow flurry. c) find itself in the wrong place at the wrong time when Handsome Hubby made everyone pancakes […]
Baseball pop quiz.
Grant had another baseball game on Saturday. It was very exciting. I offer you the highlights, in multi-choice form… A coach drew a circle in the dirt to show Grant where his position was in the infield, in the hopes that he would stay somewhere near it. Did Grant….a) completely ignore what the coach said […]
O creativity, creativity… wherefore art thou, creativity?
Grant spent the weekend at Gramma & Poppa’s house. In addition to serving waffles on demand, Gramma is cool because she likes boy things. Dinosaurs. Planes. Space shuttles. Science. (shut up shut up shut up. Yes. I am sexist. I think math and science are boy things. ew.) Anyhoo. Under the umbrella of science (both […]