These are two back to back posts, originally published on July 10, 2008…. within about 1 hour of each other. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So this bee walks into a bar and orders a baking soda bath, with a chaser of baking soda paste… You’re out playing in the yard (pretending to be a dog, of course) and […]
Grant: a) disapproves of the current furniture arrangement. b) is really cold and opted for couch cushions instead of a blanket. c) can’t leave a tidy room, well… tidy. d) There is no rhyme or reason to the things Grant does. You know the answer.
Baseball pop quiz.
Grant had another baseball game on Saturday. It was very exciting. I offer you the highlights, in multi-choice form… A coach drew a circle in the dirt to show Grant where his position was in the infield, in the hopes that he would stay somewhere near it. Did Grant….a) completely ignore what the coach said […]
O creativity, creativity… wherefore art thou, creativity?
Grant spent the weekend at Gramma & Poppa’s house. In addition to serving waffles on demand, Gramma is cool because she likes boy things. Dinosaurs. Planes. Space shuttles. Science. (shut up shut up shut up. Yes. I am sexist. I think math and science are boy things. ew.) Anyhoo. Under the umbrella of science (both […]
Mom…? There’s wolves in my room…
…can I sleep in your bed? This is what happens when a child appears at the side of your bed and, half asleep, you haul him up and toss him in the middle of your king size bed. The middle disappears. Who got the best night of sleep? a) Daddy b) Grant c) Mommy The […]
Today’s Special: Embarrassment and Apologies
When your 4-year-old child asks if he can take a toy with him on the trip to the grocery store, should you say: a) No. b) Let me see which toy you want to bring with you in order to judge whether or not said toy is a good “travel toy.” c) Sure buddy, whatever […]
There’s a girl in my breakfast cereal.
My good friend Chris and her daughter, Lauren, spent the night at my house last night. Chris works nearby and needs to take Lauren to a dental appointment (wisdom teeth – bummer) this afternoon. It makes total sense that they spent the night because that way Chris has a 4 mile commute instead of a […]
This Victoria’s Secret model: a) Has been on that cayenne pepper & water diet and is now so hungry that the photographer caught her mid-faint. b) Is possessed, having sold her soul to the devil in order to be that thin. c) Is going for that come hither look and failing miserably. d) Is only […]
Chip grease! The better furniture polish!
You are almost 16 years old. You are taller than your mother. You don’t understand why your mom gets all screechy for no reason. You have just eaten your weight in tortilla chips. The preferred method for cleaning greasy hands is: a) thoroughly washing them with soap and water. b) making an attempt to wipe […]
So this bee and this dog form a support group…
You have just recently stopped crying after having been stung by a bee. You have had a baking soda bath and sat in the tub with a baking soda paste smeared onto the sting. Your mom has soothed you and explained to you why you should leave bees alone. You are once again dressed and […]