I saw Jen Lancaster on Friday night!!! Yes! THE Jen Lancaster! She is the incredibly funny, acerbic wit behind: BITTER IS THE NEW BLACK – Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass,Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office BRIGHT LIGHTS, BIG ASS – A Self-Indulgent, Surly, Ex-Sorority Girl’s Guide […]
Besides the fact that there isn’t enough bleach in the world to fix this….
I have a personal preference regarding going barefoot. I’m not a fan. My feet always feel gross when I go barefoot. I know there are others who feel differently. My husband, for example, who seems to think that the children’s feet will be better off (orthopaedically speaking) if they go barefoot more often. I do […]
Can a kid get expelled from Sunday School?
We are shopping for a new church. The one that we had been going to is in our old neighborhood (no longer very convenient to get to) and I wanted the guys to make friends and to get involved in a church where they would actually see those kids during the week… at school, around […]
Sometimes you need a penis to fully appreciate the situation.
After a rare, delicious dinner out at Taco Surf (the out is rare, not the delicious); the family was piled in the car coming home. A few blocks from the restaurant, a chorus of “eeeeewwwww” came from the back seats. Melodramatic coughing sounds and cries to roll down the windows. Boys…. That means farts are […]
Foiled by candy wrappers.
Please picture this mess all over the house. Please imagine bowls, baskets and containers of Easter candy everywhere. Please also imagine piles of wrappers or those damn little foil wrappers that get rolled into little balls everywhere. (I tell you what – when I find out who is flicking them under the coffee table heads. […]
You never know when your number’s up. Or when that lesson hits home for your kids…
How quickly life can change. Or end. My husband took the boys to an Angels game last night. They watched 22 year old rookie pitcher, Nick Adenhart, pitch a 6 inning shut out. (The best of his professional career so far.) We watched the highlights on the news last night after they got home. This […]
Have you heard of this Barack Obama guy…?
Scene: morning, our living room. Conner is watching the news. Conner: “Mom? What’s Obama’s last name?”Mom: “Obama.”Conner: (with a laugh and a little snort) “Obama Obama?! pfft!” oy.
This too shall pass.
Grant is on an invisibility kick. It’s getting really old, really fast. In the kitchen:Grant: “Mom, can I have a cookie please?”Mom: “Not until after lunch.”Grant: “I ate an invisible lunch, but I want a real cookie.” At baseball practice:Coach: “Grant, pay attention! It’s your turn up at bat.”Grant: “I’m going to use my invisible […]
He never listens when WE tell him to shut up…
Conner told us last night that there was going to be a dance after school this week, and that he wanted to go. It went a little something like this: “Um, there’s this dance after school and it’s sometime this week, either Tuesday or Wednesday or Thursday or Friday. It’s either $4 or $10 or […]
Check your own damn pockets or pay the price. (Which I think is about $8.50…)
My guys need to learn to be more responsible. I thought I made it perfectly clear that I am no longer reaching into people’s pockets to make sure they’re empty before throwing them in the wash. I will sort of pat the article of clothing, while shaking it upside down, but I am not reaching […]
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