I spent New Year’s Day “un-decorating” the house. Literally, the whole day. By 9:00 in the evening, I was exhausted and wanted a long hot shower. I had the TV on while packing up ornaments. It did not occur to me to turn it off when I left the room. Jerry Maguire was on… what’s […]
Work it out with your Orthodontist.
“Oh oh! Mom!! My bite plate fell in the toilet! What do I do!?” I don’t even want to know how this happened. Thank goodness there is a sanitize cycle on the dishwasher. ew.
Please boys, please eat more fiber.
If it rains on your wedding day, it’s considered good luck. If a bird poops on you, it’s considered good luck. (what-ev) Now tell me: Is it good luck or bad luck to christen a new home with an overflowing toilet?
His father’s son.
This morning, as every morning, Grant came running out to find me. I love hearing the pad, pad, pad of his feet coming down the hallway. I love how he says, “Mom!” as if I’m some delightful surprise he wasn’t expecting. I love how he wants to climb in my lap and snuggle up and […]
Please use your head. It’s that thing you’re supposed to be shampooing.
I cannot tell you who. I cannot tell you why. I certainly cannot tell you how. All I can tell you is that all of the bath toys and toothbrushes from the boys’ bathroom are currently going through an extra hot, super duper cycle in the dishwasher. And will probably be put through again, just […]
Oh, the things I hear… (part 1)
“Don’t take my crocodile off of the toilet.” – Grant “There’s an arrow in my butt.” – Grant “The helicopter can’t go up, but the hot dog can!” – Grant “The object of the game is to kill me” – Mitchell (immediately followed by…) “Well then quit yelling at me for killing you!” – Conner […]
Camping: NOT a spontaneous activity.
We’re getting ready to go on our annual camping trip. We leave before the crack of dawn on Saturday the 19th and come back the evening of Thursday the 24th. It is a 10 hour drive each way. We camp in tents and pack in just about everything but water. It takes a wee bit […]
Chip grease! The better furniture polish!
You are almost 16 years old. You are taller than your mother. You don’t understand why your mom gets all screechy for no reason. You have just eaten your weight in tortilla chips. The preferred method for cleaning greasy hands is: a) thoroughly washing them with soap and water. b) making an attempt to wipe […]
My Target has a pharmacy but needs a bigger booze section.
The boys had a video game mission. Knowing what could happen, I still took all four boys shopping. Cocktail hour will be arriving earlier than usual today. Devin: Gave up on his dream of saving for his own personal XBox 360 and wanted to spend $40 of his allowance (NOW!!!) on a game for his […]
Coffee Talk with Grant
Our kitchen. I’m fixing Grant his breakfast. He’s drumming his fingers on the table, waiting patiently. He attempts to make small talk while waiting for his toast: “So, Mom… remember Fat Bastard?” Someone is so in trouble for letting a 4 year old watch “The Spy Who Shagged Me”
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