Tuesday evening: Mom: Are you finished with your homework, Devin? Dev: Yeah. Mom: Did you do all of your chores? Dev: Yeah. Mom: Is your back pack packed up and ready to go for school tomorrow? Dev: Yeah (slightly annoyed with this line of questioning….) everything’s done. Wednesday morning: Dev: (on a friend’s borrowed cell […]
Work it out with your Orthodontist.
“Oh oh! Mom!! My bite plate fell in the toilet! What do I do!?” I don’t even want to know how this happened. Thank goodness there is a sanitize cycle on the dishwasher. ew.
Please boys, please eat more fiber.
If it rains on your wedding day, it’s considered good luck. If a bird poops on you, it’s considered good luck. (what-ev) Now tell me: Is it good luck or bad luck to christen a new home with an overflowing toilet?
His father’s son.
This morning, as every morning, Grant came running out to find me. I love hearing the pad, pad, pad of his feet coming down the hallway. I love how he says, “Mom!” as if I’m some delightful surprise he wasn’t expecting. I love how he wants to climb in my lap and snuggle up and […]
Please use your head. It’s that thing you’re supposed to be shampooing.
I cannot tell you who. I cannot tell you why. I certainly cannot tell you how. All I can tell you is that all of the bath toys and toothbrushes from the boys’ bathroom are currently going through an extra hot, super duper cycle in the dishwasher. And will probably be put through again, just […]
Oh, the things I hear… (part 1)
“Don’t take my crocodile off of the toilet.” – Grant “There’s an arrow in my butt.” – Grant “The helicopter can’t go up, but the hot dog can!” – Grant “The object of the game is to kill me” – Mitchell (immediately followed by…) “Well then quit yelling at me for killing you!” – Conner […]
Crazy Johnny’s Law School
Rich just won a case that has been making him nuts because the other lawyer truly is a slime ball. Rich said of him, “He’s either very stupid or he’s crazy like a retarded fox.” Struck me as so funny I just had to share.
I never did get my funnel cakes.
Rich and I had a date last night. We went to see Chris Isaak at the Orange County Fair. (He was awesome!) Vanessa Carlton opened for him. (She? Not so awesome.) We saw lots of the people and things you’d expect at a Fair… crying kids in strollers, large women in clothing that is waaaay […]
Camping: NOT a spontaneous activity.
We’re getting ready to go on our annual camping trip. We leave before the crack of dawn on Saturday the 19th and come back the evening of Thursday the 24th. It is a 10 hour drive each way. We camp in tents and pack in just about everything but water. It takes a wee bit […]
Chip grease! The better furniture polish!
You are almost 16 years old. You are taller than your mother. You don’t understand why your mom gets all screechy for no reason. You have just eaten your weight in tortilla chips. The preferred method for cleaning greasy hands is: a) thoroughly washing them with soap and water. b) making an attempt to wipe […]