My kids are all smart. They frequently make dumb choices, but technically they are all very intelligent. That’s why things like this just crack me up: Me: “Mitch, it is supposed to be very hot today… are you sure you want to wear jeans to school?” Mitch: “I have to. I don’t have any shorts.” […]
Choking? You probably deserve it.
Scene: Sitting at the table a few weeks ago. Mitch begins coughing and choking. We Parents: “Mitch! Are you OK?!” Mitch: “Yes. I’m OK, I just swallowed wrong.” Grant (with a definite air of superiority): “pfft. Well, I swallow right.”
These are a few of my (least) favorite things….
Tyrone Wells (one of my favorite singers) has a song called The Hate Song. It’s a funny list of things a jilted boyfriend has compiled in order to make himself feel better. Things I hate, in no particular order: 1) People Who Don’t RSVP I have actually put “Please let me know as soon as […]
Am I being Punk’d? So bad it’s funny… or at least it will be someday.
My day yesterday: 6:15: wake up and go back to sleep 6:30 wake up and go back to sleep 6:45 drag ass out of bed 7:00 make coffee 7:15 start chugging coffee 7:29 (note to self: do not go to bed with wet hair) 7:30 put hair in hot rollers to get rid of “Medusa” […]
We need some help in the shoe department. Please.
Mitchell & I went shopping yesterday. We were looking at some shoes and discussing which we liked the best. There was a pair of Vans with some cool details on the sides. “I like these best” Mitch says, pointing to the shoes, “The ones with the Space Invaders on the sides.” Oh no, no, no. […]
Where have I been? Well, eating bon-bons and watching my soaps, of course.
OK! Got the new camera figured out… I think. To recap the past few weeks, in order: Halloween; Bathroom Remodel at the Cabin (still not finished… Can you say “Pee in the woods”?); Conner’s birthday (bowling & pizza); hosted Bunco for 15; organized team soccer party; threw surprise birthday party for 35 people; hosted Thanksgiving […]
I’ll be here all week. Try the veal!
Mitch had his friend Geno over yesterday. They hung out all day, playing video games, playing with Legos, riding skateboards, etc… Basic 10 year old “guy” stuff. Geno stayed for dinner, where he proceeded to tell a joke. Here is the super-condensed version of his joke. I left out all of the “um“s, the “Oh […]
I don’t think I’ll see my cow until the boys finish puberty.
Watching our boys develop and mature, Rich and I have decided that, along with puberty, boys between the ages of 10 and 12 go through the Hama Hama stage. (rhymes with Obama…) We theorize that brains are working so quickly and randomly that the mouth cannot keep up… which accounts for the unintelligible, garbled speech […]
I’m not checking anyone’s pockets but my own.
I want to renegotiate my laundry contract. Now. Doing laundry for boys is tough work. It smells bad and there are often unmentionable stains and things that need stain remover. (Lots and lots of stain remover.) Doing laundry for boys is usually unappreciated. It requires follow-up to ensure that the folded clothes laid out on […]
Narcolepsy?
I wish I could just fall asleep in any ‘ole place, in any ‘ole position, no matter what is happening around me…