After school yesterday afternoon, I asked Grant how his day was. “It was great! Charlie and Douch (rhymes with couch) went to school with me!” “Who are Charlie and Douch?” “My hands, of course!” Of course. That kid is so odd. He’s been walking around, treating his hands like they’re little puppets and wants us […]
The boy has standards. (They’re low, but they’re standards.)
On Tuesday Devin came home from Spanish class telling us about a Christmas custom in Spain. Instead of hanging up stockings, Spaniards put out their shoes on Christmas Eve. The shoes are filled with treats. In class, everyone took their shoes and put them out in the hallway. A secret somebody then put a treat […]
Christmas – according to Grant.
My Mom wanted to take Grant to have an over-night (or two or three) at her house. I did not have to think twice. (Christmas prep without a five year old under foot…? Um OK. Twist my arm.) My Mom called me to tell me a funny Grant story. Apparently, she and Grant were walking […]
What’s in a name? And what does it have to do with you leaving the kitchen?
Scene: The kitchen. I am trying to make dinner. Grant is underfoot. Me: “Grant, I need you to get out of here, there are hot things in here and sharp things in here.” Grant: “OK…. Mom? Why didn’t you name me PJ? You shoulda named me PJ.” I just don’t even know what to say […]
Definitely a boy thing…
I would’ve thought it is more convenient to blow one’s nose into a kleenex and then toss the kleenex in the trash. Apparently, it is more convenient to pick one’s nose and wipe the contents onto the bathroom counter and mirror. I don’t understand due to the fact I have a vagina.
Remedial Graffiti Artist
This morning we noticed that Someone had taken a pencil and written on the panes and trim around our sliding glass door. (Please click on the photo to more clearly see the artwork) Someone signed his name. When asked why he did this, Someone shrugged his shoulders and stated, “My brain is not very good.”
Can I wash someone’s mouth out with laundry soap…?
So, I’m doing laundry (shocker.) As I am transferring a load from the washer into the dryer, I see Devin’s hoody sweatshirt has a dirty, blackish stain on the back, near the bottom hem. I asked him what happened. He says, “I don’t know, I must have sat in something…” Conner, who is listening to […]
Well, I did suggest that you hurry up….
Scene 1: Getting ready for school… Mom: “Grant, get out of bed.” “Grant, eat your toast.” “Grant, please put down the Legos.” “Grant, please hurry or you won’t have time to play on the playground before school.” Scene 2: Walking Grant to school…. Mom: “Grant, you better hurry up or you won’t have time to […]
Spiderous Kindergartenous
Scene: Walking Grant to school this morning. I notice a huge spider. Mom: “Hey Grant! Look at that big spider up there in that web!” Grant: “Wow! He is big and is poisonous.” Mom: “No, he’s not poisonous. He’s a nice spider… just a big ole’ Garden Spider.” Grant: (after thinking a moment)…. “What’s he […]
The heart wants what the heart wants…
Scene: Our kitchen at lunch time. I have just offered Grant a sandwich…. Grant: “My heart is telling me to have ice cream.” Me: “After you have a sandwich, you may have a little ice cream.” Grant: “If I don’t have it, my heart will stop talking to me.” How do you respond to that?
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