I am the kind of person who will pull you aside and let you know if you have spinach on your tooth, or a booger, or toilet paper stuck to your shoe. I would hope someone would do the same for me. So when I’m standing in a line this morning, and I notice the […]
I’m not checking anyone’s pockets but my own.
I want to renegotiate my laundry contract. Now. Doing laundry for boys is tough work. It smells bad and there are often unmentionable stains and things that need stain remover. (Lots and lots of stain remover.) Doing laundry for boys is usually unappreciated. It requires follow-up to ensure that the folded clothes laid out on […]
Everyone is pretty at 2:00 am. Duh.
Really? Was it really necessary to do a scientific study in order to determine that there actually is a “beer-goggle effect”? Of course you think members of the opposite sex look better after a few drinks. It’s called Horny. Of course you think you look better after a few drinks. It’s called Blurred Vision. Of […]
Oh, the things I hear… (part 1)
“Don’t take my crocodile off of the toilet.” – Grant “There’s an arrow in my butt.” – Grant “The helicopter can’t go up, but the hot dog can!” – Grant “The object of the game is to kill me” – Mitchell (immediately followed by…) “Well then quit yelling at me for killing you!” – Conner […]
Now wait a minute. My water just broke…. How can he already be 16?
Devin is 16 today. What. The. Heck? First of all, for those of you who are worried, let me say: No. He will not be behind the wheel and on the roads any time soon. We had our family celebration last night. He got the dinner of his choice: Sloppy Joes (pardon me a […]
Too much American Idol.
I just took the boys to get haircuts. When Grant is in the chair, I try to stand near him so he doesn’t get wiggy or uncooperative. He kept looking in the mirror asking about “the microphone.” Behind ya! In the mirror. Look! A microphone! We did not get it at all. He was getting […]
Narcolepsy?
I wish I could just fall asleep in any ‘ole place, in any ‘ole position, no matter what is happening around me…
The latest in lounge-wear.
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Hi. My name is Vivienne and I play bunco.
OK, I play bunco. It’s cliche. It’s suburban housewife-y. It’s fun. The girls get together, we drink wine, we talk, we laugh, (sometimes we even remember to play bunco). All for a buy in of $10. (Personally, I like it when it’s my turn to host bunco because it forces me to clean the house […]
Litter-Bugs, Lifeguards & Severed Heads.
Litter-Bugs Let me preface this by telling you that a few weeks ago I yelled at a teenage girl who was driving like an idiot. I saw her in my rearview mirror, weaving in and out of traffic on Los Alamitos Blvd and coming up fast. She whipped around my car and ended up to […]