Scene: Walking Grant to school this morning. I notice a huge spider. Mom: “Hey Grant! Look at that big spider up there in that web!” Grant: “Wow! He is big and is poisonous.” Mom: “No, he’s not poisonous. He’s a nice spider… just a big ole’ Garden Spider.” Grant: (after thinking a moment)…. “What’s he […]
The heart wants what the heart wants…
Scene: Our kitchen at lunch time. I have just offered Grant a sandwich…. Grant: “My heart is telling me to have ice cream.” Me: “After you have a sandwich, you may have a little ice cream.” Grant: “If I don’t have it, my heart will stop talking to me.” How do you respond to that?
Choking? You probably deserve it.
Scene: Sitting at the table a few weeks ago. Mitch begins coughing and choking. We Parents: “Mitch! Are you OK?!” Mitch: “Yes. I’m OK, I just swallowed wrong.” Grant (with a definite air of superiority): “pfft. Well, I swallow right.”
Coming soon: The Good, The Bad, and The Stupid.
The boys are back in school. Grant is doing fine so far (Kindergarten is such a big deal) but I am shaking my head at my 7th and 11th graders. A post on that is coming soon. I’ll get that up as soon as I’m finished driving all over town to return PE shoes that […]
So this ghost goes to a waterpark….
Grant is my source for some good material. Sometimes I need my camera. Sometimes I have it, sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I have him repeat what he said if I missed filming it the first time. Setting: Last night, finishing up dinner. Grant is talking about something we don’t understand. He says he wants to […]
Some pregnancy cravings prove to be rather funny.
Scene: the produce section in our grocery store. I am thrilled to see that “Red Lion” Nectarines are in season and on sale. Me: “Oh Grant! Yay! These are so yummy! When you were in my tummy, these nectarines were all that I wanted to eat.” Grant: “I was in your tummy…?” Me: (Oh crap! […]
Great. Now I need to brush up on my Pig-Latin.
Driving in the car last night, with Conner and Grant in the back seat…. Conner and I were having a discussion and I needed to say the word “sex” which I decided to spell, since I did not want Grant to hear the word. Big mistake. “What’s S – E – X?” Smooth move, Ex-Lax. […]
Entrepreneurial spirit.
Scene: Conner’s bedroom. Grant is holding a stack of Conner’s books and some old magazines. Grant: “Conner, do you want these books? Can I have some?” Conner: “I want these ones, but you can have the rest. What are you going to do with all of those.” Grant: “Why, sell them of course.” (The “duh” […]
It’s got a good beat, but can ya dance to it?
Grant just came into the kitchen, proudly holding an invisible guitar. G: Do you like my invisible guitar? Me: Yes I do. G: Wanna hear it? Me: Of course I do. G: (various sounds, growls and humming, while pretending to rock out.) Didja like it? Me: Of course I do. What’s it called? G: I […]
I didn’t think sodium was such a problem.
It became obvious to me today that Grant learned a new phrase and was just chomping at the bit to use it… Grant: “Mom, may I have popcorn, please?” Mom: “Sure buddy. Thanks for asking nicely.” 3 minutes and 15 seconds later… Mom: “Grant, your popcorn is ready!” Grant: “Does it have salt on it?” […]
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